HOPE

December 8, 2009

Today on the Feast of the Immaculate Concepcion, I found HOPE and an answer.  At Holy Mass today I prayed to Mama Mary to be the mother of my baby Ate.  I consecrate her to you, Mama Mary.  Take her because I do not know what to do and how to be the mother you want me to be for Ate.

It was just yesterday when I was told that my baby has epilepsy.  She has infantile spasms, which is found in 1 in every 5,000 births.  It was finally an answer, but not the answer I wanted.  Because when I did my research on infantile spasms, practically all the prognosis was depressing.  It was as if my child’s future was already written in the book of statistics and mental retardation was a definite outcome.

I was told a few days ago by a mother of a child with cerebral palsey, “It will not be okay. But one day you will be okay with it.”

I took this to heart then, but when the future had mental retardation written all over it, I refused the idea on one day being okay with it.  A mentally retarded person is someone who is there, but not quite.  Probably one of the most difficult situations any parent can face.  Possible prognosis for my daughter was cerebral palsey, autism, mental retardation.

I was told to “accept” so that I could “deal with it.”  I will accept that my child has GDD, microcephaly and infantile spasm.  But I will not accept what statistics predicts to be my child’s future.

As I researched online about infantile spasm, I cried at every page I clicked.  Until I found ketogenic diet.  It gave me HOPE.  A definite answer to the current problems my daughter faces.  Is this Mama Mary’s answer to my plea?  I believe it is.  I researched today and found definite answers.  Tomorrow I would be ready to make those phone calls to explore this lifeline Mama Mary gave me.

Thank you Mama Mary.  Tonight I can sleep better.